posted a "Letter to the Woman Dating my
Husband" on Craigslist after she found out that
her husband was having an affair while she was
out of town. Read below..
"You probably don't even know that we're
not separated, and up until I found his
dating site profiles, and flew back to try
and rescue my marriage, I did not know
there was a problem...Be aware that
everyday, he wrote me loving, wonderful
messages, just as he was talking to you
and wooing you.
As far as I knew, we were strong in our
relationship. If he's been telling you something
different, get my number from him, and let me
show you the messages...
So the following may be you, or it may be
"multiples" of you. I do not know how many of
"you" there are. So read to the end. You'll figure
out if it's the guy you're dating. Perhaps one of
your friends will see this and figure it out for
you..
You left your mascara in my husband's old
vehicle (he bought a newer one in late
September). It was a shimmery brown Covergirl.
I think you left some clothes here too. I threw
them away. You also left a bra. You're size 36 B.
I'm a 34C. The bra stank with BO. (Of course, it
maybe that it belongs to someone else..... After
all, his dating profiles --OurTime.com and
Match.com--showed that he was horn-doggin'
over a 120 mile radius... )
So he announced we're getting a divorce after I
confronted him. He's playing "victim," and telling
me it's a BIG misunderstanding, and that I'm
being "controlling." I've pointed out that NO
woman would agree my behavior is "controlling"
after finding her husband's dating profiles which
say he's "looking for marriage" to someone else.
Unless your version of "controlling" includes an
inability to understand I'm upset about the sub-
text of "Why can't I go off and search for my
next wife?" or "Why can't I just get laid behind
your back?"
He claims he found that mascara (used Cover
Girl--ick!-- I wear Lancome, which I replace every
6 months because of eye allergies) on the
ground at work before I left to go take care of my
sick mom in another state. (NO, I didn't just go
off and leave him!) It's been in the truck ever
since. So.....
The immaculate truck (I've NEVER seen him
clean a vehicle in 15 years!) had the mascara in
it for 8+ months? And somehow I'd want used
mascara he found on the ground? And he saved
it, even when cleaning up the truck?
I haven't even mentioned the bra to him. (What's
the point?)
Your bag of clothes that you washed inside out:
He tried to stop me from throwing some women's
and children's clothes away that I found in a bag
in the garage, claiming they belonged to our
friend M's nephew... (there were some boys
clothes, some small girl's clothing, and
woman's... so I call BS on that! btw....Nice tastes
in shirts. I like Ralph Lauren plaid, too, but you
appear to be a bit bigger than me....) he
glummly shut up when I cheerily reminded him
that M's nephew has grown, so any of the clothes
would be out grown.
Well, recently he's lost weight, quit drinking (that
was 15 years of h*ll for me and the kids) bought
himself a NEW truck (without consulting / asking
me). But guess what? That nice house and
property you saw, and new truck, and all his new
tools? ***I OWN HALF OF ALL OF IT***.
So you won't be living in my nice house, we'll be
selling it. And he may not have mentioned all my
grad school debt... We'll be splitting that as well.
So guess what you have???
You, my dear, are the proud new doormat for a
middle-aged man who has been a contractor-
type all his life. He's fairly smart though, but at
56 his body will not hold out much longer, and
he's doesn't have a wide skill-set. He's somewhat
heavy-set, pretty good looking, but he will not be
wealthy after we split things (nor will I).
Congrats! He's quite the catch! (Well, it looks
that way from the outset, now, before the
divorce) My prediction though is that he'll have
to move into a little apartment he can afford. (I
don't think he thought all these consequences
through. Somehow, in his mind, I'd just
disappear and leave him with you, the house, the
toys, and the assets?)
Oh, and you'll have my dogs, too. They were a
present from me to us, and I trained them for a
year... but since they're purebreds, guess what?
THEY'RE PROPERTY WITH AN ATTACHED
VALUE!!!! My guess on their value: They're worth
about about $3K. ... Thank you very much!!!! I'll
take something of equal value, like the TV,
generator, fridge and some of those nifty new
tools!
Now, you may have kids (since there were ice
cream cones in my pantry and sugary cereal and
milk left at the house--I've never seen him eat
that crap, ever, in 15 years. btw. The milk went
bad. I threw it out. You bought it at Tops in
Cicero one evening in late August. I found the
receipt. You bought all that weird crap in one
evening, after the trip to Fun Junction and then
the return to the house.) so, if you have kids, you
should know that he has a tendency to over-buy
stuff and send the family into debt. There were a
few years (before I graduated from grad school)
when I had to go to food banks to keep our kids
fed. Good luck with that. I'm sure he's changed,
although judging from new toys he's bought...
maybe not so much.
My advice: Don't marry him. If you do, then HALF
OF YOUR STUFF IS HIS! He'll use you up, he's a
selfish lover, he's a spend-a-holic, and it's likely
he'll revert to booze. His financial decisions will
drive you into bankruptcy. (He's done it twice)
His family will hate you (they're weird, you'll see),
and he has a tendency to do incredibly stupid
stuff. Like the type of stuff that will **get YOU in
trouble** even though you have no control over
his actions/behavior! he'll get mad because you
"nag" and say stuff like "Don't drive to work
drunk and get in a crash!" <--Yup that's an
example of my nagging and controlling
behavior...
Of course, since you've been boffing my
husband, and you must know I am still in the
picture (my stuff is ALL OVER THE HOUSE)
...OR... you may just be incredibly stupid...
Maybe you deserve him.
You and he ruined my life, stole the life I spent
15 years trying to build with him, destroyed my
identity... I wish I could say I "wish you the
best," but it's more like "I think you're about to
get what you deserve."
FYI: He (we) own a new (used) white truck with
nice warm leather seats, along with a few other
vehicles (which he works on...btw. Some of those
classic cars are MINE from before the marriage,)
You may have been in his old truck (mascara
story). My (our) two dogs are large, gorgeous,
"matching" in looks and after initial meeting, well
behaved. (Yell the German command "Pluatzen!"
to the female, and open your hand as you say
it... She will still go right down, in front of you,
even from a dead run.) My husband's sister,
whose first name starts with "C" has an @ss you
could park a Peterbuilt on! We (I) own a
gorgeous property with a stream and pond, out
in the woods. (That should help for identification
purposes!!!)
He went to Fun Junction (btw, he took all the
Fun Junction coins I'd saved for sentimental
value from when the boys were little--thanks. You
stole my memories of my happy days with my
children). You googled the address for Fun
Junction from our house computer (he hates
google and only uses bing), then according to his
phone he drove there. Later, you two stopped at
Tops in Cicero, bought ice cream cones and
sugary cereal (and cheap wine coolers....
eeeewwwww) and you returned to the house.
Then YOU googled 15 minutes worth of YouTube
videos on "La Lupe"--some kind of weird Cuban
singer from the 60s and 70s. You actually put
him through 4 videos and 15 minutes worth of
that!!!! Hahahahahahah!!!! He had to have been
cringing inside, because (and here's a little
secret), I liked Salsa until I met him--and he
HATED it so much, I gave up ever listening to
it.... I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for
that one! Pfft. What a guy will go through to get
laid....
If you're a real, actually nice person, that has
been duped, just know that he's gotten very
good at lying. He's a lot of fun. He's a great cook,
and a great talker...And he's not single, he's just
trying to get laid. Or worse. He's courting you as
the next Mrs., knowing that our divorce will leave
him very, very financially screwed. And you, my
dear, are lookin' to him like his life boat. Get out
while you can.
GOOD LUCK WITH HIM! THE PACKAGING IS
DAMAGED AND WHAT'S INSIDE IS PRETTY SPENT,
TOO!
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