Dear Couples: Don't Allow Things Like These Destroy Your Marriage

One of the most challenging issues facing many marriages today is the lack of trust and perhaps the fear of addressing certain issues without conflict arising. Every man and woman can experience great happiness when they finally find someone they can love and trust; for some, it can last a lifetime, while for others, conflict can suddenly replace trust.

When trust diminishes, emotional walls unconsciously go up, which makes giving love insignificant too. Consequently, you can become miserable, depressed and may feel infuriated towards your spouse. It's not the truth that destroys a marriage; it is what is left unsaid that destroys it...

Nevertheless, if you desire to move forward this new year, you can learn to have confidence in your marriage again.

Be honest with yourselves

The tendency to control a spouse can emerge slowly in response to hurts or character weaknesses or it can be present at the very beginning of a marriage. This serious personality conflict creates a great deal of tension and unhappiness in marriage.

If you feel that your spouse has not been honest with the truth or making you feel vulnerable, find a good time and place to start the discussion and ask your spouse how much honesty he or she feels is necessary for a happy marriage. You should also be ready to make your own contribution by giving an honest opinion; that, certainly, is a good place to start.

Clear your minds

Marriage between lovers can be dominated with secrets, but marriage between best friends has no hidden places for secrets and mind-boggling issues. It is important to communicate all your fears and worries to your spouse as they emerge. If there are any issues you've been holding on to, now is the time to clear your minds so that you can both start to enjoy openness and honesty in your marriage.

Be your best friends

The common setback many couples facing marital challenges have is building stronger relationships with friends while they neglect their own homes. If your friend is still single, there is a possibility that he/she may become uncomfortable with your new status and discussing your love life and marriage issues with friends can be detrimental to your marriage in the end.

On the other hand, your spouse can feel extremely vulnerable and disappointed if he finds out that you have been confiding in your friends or your family. Therefore, it is better to try and resolve delicate issues with your spouse.  

Don't go telling your mum or dad things in your home; you should learn to trust your spouse. It's the best.

 

- by Elizabeth Badejo
man*

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